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My parents came to the UK in 1960 from Calcutta, as it was then, in India. My father was a doctor. In Birmingham, I was often the only Indian girl in my class. There are ways that you’re marked out in the playground. There was quite a lot of teasing. You had to navigate your way – you learn to be pleasing to people. That’s how I coped.
The UK in the 1970s was a harder place when it came to race. I was aware of the far-right, football hooliganism, racism on the streets. On occasion, somebody, usually a man, would scowl at me or make a face, unprovoked. I sort of understood – but sort of didn’t.
I absolutely loved Oxford University. It opened me up. I’m very fond of Birmingham, but it’s not a place of beauty, and Oxford really is.
There weren’t many British-Asian students like me. That didn’t stop me having a good time. There was prejudice from certain individuals, but it was more their problem than mine.
When I started out in journalism I had more of a black-and-white view of things. Doing my job for so long has made me see the enormous complexity of everything. I’ve come to understand it’s a very difficult world to understand.
The advice I give to people? Say “yes” to things in your career. Even if you’re quaking with fear, put a bright, brave face on. You won’t regret it.
I don’t like resentful people. I deliberately don’t remember bad things people have said to me. If you harbour these things, you only do yourself harm.
My husband, Paul, and I met at university. I think the secret to a happy marriage is each allowing the other person to be themselves and understanding that, as you grow older together, you’re going to become different people. It sounds so easy – but it’s really not.
I love dancing in a really bad disco mum kind of way. That happens in the kitchen, when I’m cooking – which is not often, as my husband does most of it.
I had appendicitis, dramatically, in the autumn of 2021. I was in Rome, passed out from the pain, and was rushed to hospital. I lay in A&E for a while and couldn’t get anyone to help me – I don’t speak Italian. I started to think, “Oh well, I’ve made it to my late 50s and Rome isn’t a bad place to go.” But they sorted me out.
My greatest achievement? My three children. I’ve had a wonderful career. I’m about to publish a novel. But I don’t put any of those things ahead of my family.
I believe in lifelong learning and developing, and in not having regrets or itches that you wished you’d scratched. Writing a novel at this stage of my life has been good for me.
Finding Belle by Reeta Chakrabarti is published by HarperFiction on 8 May at £16.99 or £15.29 at guardianbookshop.com
