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Geoff Parling is a perfect example of just how far sport can propel you in life. Growing up in Stockton-on-Tees he was a goalkeeper who did not start throwing a rugby ball around until the age of 12. Back then the chances of him coaching Australia in a British & Irish Lions series were about the same as seeing a snoozing koala up a gum tree in Hartlepool.
Yet here he is now in a Wallaby tracksuit, preparing to complete the unique double of playing a Test for the Lions and then also coaching against them at the same exalted level. It is a parallel universe to 2013 when Parling was part of the triumphant Lions side in the final Test in Sydney. That night it was his crucial tackle on Jesse Mogg – “My long arms came in useful for once” – which snuffed out any chance of a home fightback. This weekend the aim is to do the precise opposite and restore a golden glow to Australian rugby.
And just as the iconic Sydney Harbour Bridge was constructed by a British firm from Cleveland in the North-East, so Parling’s current job is to engineer something just as striking. The Wallabies line-out has improved steadily under his tutelage and, in harness with head coach Joe Schmidt, the chances are that Australia will be tactically savvy and highly motivated. “Our mentality is: let’s throw ourselves at them,” warns the ex-England lock forward. “We’re not here to sit back and pay homage to the Lions. Let’s throw ourselves at them, why wouldn’t we? We don’t want to die wanting.”
Steady on, ma-ate. Then again, the 41-year-old is far from rugby’s first Anglo-Aussie chameleon: Eddie Jones, in particular used to love his Bodyline cricket analogies when he was touring his native Australia as England’s coach. Parling, for his part, now has an Australian passport, lives in a Melbourne bayside suburb and his imminent return to England to coach Leicester Tigers has not obviously diluted his desire to take the 2025 Lions down.
So what will he be advising his Wallaby charges ahead of the first Test, based on his personal memories of sitting in the opposite dressing room? To make the most of the opportunity, for starters. Towards the end of the 2013 tour he even missed the birth of his daughter May to pursue his Lions dream. “The biggest thing that stands out for me wasn’t even on the rugby field. That might sound crazy because it’s a big tour, but going back and meeting your daughter when she’s two and a half weeks old is pretty special. Changing her nappy when all the blokes are on the piss back in Sydney celebrating was, in a way, also pretty special. But, yeah, that changing room after the final Test, that would also stand out for me.”
It was only later that he belatedly apologised to his wife Elle for being “selfish” and staying out on tour – “She was like: ‘Oh God, yeah I know you are, you’ve finally admitted it’” – so it is ironic the whole family have subsequently lived in Australia since 2018, with the 29-times capped forward having made his final competitive appearance for Exeter in the 2017 Premiership final. Life in Australia has been so enjoyable that returning home to take the Leicester role vacated by Michael Cheika was not an easy decision. “We left when my youngest was three months and she’s eight now. So all my kids’ childhood has been here. I wouldn’t leave here for many opportunities. Leicester was one of those I would do.”
For now, though, his focus is on the present. Slowing down Lions’ ball, disrupting their set piece, excelling in the nuts and bolts that win Test matches. “We have some wonderful players who are highly skilled and great athletes – can we get those guys in a position to really excel? The bigger the game, the more it’s about doing the basics really well.” Does he believe the Wallabies are fully primed? “I’ve never coached a game where I wouldn’t like to be more ready. That’s been the case in every game I’ve coached or probably played in.”
But not unlike England’s Steve Borthwick, Parling has always been a relentless rugby student. Australia’s dramatic win at Twickenham last November was also further proof of the Wallabies’ ability to confound expectations. In London the management deliberately seized on the more dismissive pre-game predictions as fuel and may well do the same again now.
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Parling also has a fair idea of how Andy Farrell will be prepping his Lions, having sat and listened to his now famous “take them boys to the hurt arena” speech in 2013. “He was one of my favourite coaches when I was a player: a great orator, just a good bloke. He was very simple in his delivery ... he just [prioritised] a few things and went hard at those. I think sometimes we make coaching too complicated. He didn’t.”
Which is something Parling will also be aware of this weekend, conscious that words alone cannot fully prepare his players. “In these big games something always takes you a little bit by surprise. I can’t give them everything by just speaking. Every player will have their own motivations. They’re aware it’s pretty special. I don’t think I have to big it up as anything else.”
