Australia v England: Ashes third Test, day five – live

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“I hope I’m wrong” Writes an impossibly pessimistic Kev McMahon… “I really want to be, but for an Australian fan this is a dangerous situation. We tend to waltz into days like this, assuming that 4 wickets will tumble quickly and all’s right with the world. But the longer the resistance lasts, the more frustrated the Australian team gets and they don’t play well when they’re grumpy. You might want to look into appropriate side dishes for your laptop, James!”

You are right Kev, I’ll wash it down with my Christmas tree complete with all the ‘trimmings’…

Rain stops play – England 241-6 (need 194 runs, Australia need four wickets)

Huge cheers from the England fans as the players are ushered off with the rain falling a bit more heavily. The impending moisture and overall gloom didn’t stop Jamie Smith from attempting two agricultural swipes off Nathan Lyon, mind.

In all seriousness (ahem) England might have preferred to stay our there for a bit, there won’t be enough rain to save them today and it is always tricky to start again after a break.

Rain falls on Alex Carey
Rain falls on Alex Carey. Photograph: Robert Cianflone/Getty Images
Adelaide Oval ground staff put the covers on
Adelaide Oval ground staff put the covers on. Photograph: Robbie Stephenson/PA

73rd over: England 241-6 (Smith 25, Jacks 21) Jason Gillespie says this England pair are giving themselves a chance… CAN YOU PACK IT IN DIZZY PLEASE!? There is some rain falling in Adelaide though and the Barmy Army are chanting “off! off! off!” The umpires come together for a chat at the end of the over but they are carrying on for now. “Boooooooo!” chant the Barmies. It’s a bit of fun.

72nd over: England 240-6 (Smith 24, Jacks 21) A maiden from Lyon. Eight overs to the new ball, Cummins, Starc and Boland waiting in the wings, just in case you England fans were starting to get ahead of yourselves after 30 minutes without a wicket.

71st over: England 240-6 (Smith 24, Jacks 21) Smith slaps Green over the leg side for SIX more. He’s looking more confident now, as the old adage goes – when he hits it, it stays hit. England’s need 195 more. Australia four wickets.

Jamie Smith watches a shot in the air
Jamie Smith watches a shot in the air. Photograph: Gareth Copley/Getty Images

70th over: England 232-6 (Smith 17, Jacks 20) Lyon rattles through a probing over and it’s a maiden.

69th over: England 232-6 (Smith 17, Jacks 20) Jacks doesn’t look comfortable out there, he misses a drive outside off stump to Green and then pulls out of an attempted pull and the ball loops up and lands safe behind square leg. Good lordy lord.

68th over: England 225-6 (Smith 17, Jacks 13) Jamie Smith pokes about and then decides enough is enough and swipes Lyon with the spin into the empty-ish stands for SIX. That’s more of the Smith Surrey fans know and love. A relatively safe shot unlike his attempted pull off Green in the last over. England are over halfway to the total and the Barmy Army dust off some Bon Jovi.

67th over: England 218-6 (Smith 13, Jacks 11) Will Jacks goes back to Green and turns his ankle in a deep foothole in the crease. He looks in trouble for a few seconds but then seems to recover ok. One to keep an eye on, could’ve been nasty. Urgh! Smith top edges Smith on the pull and nearly plinks a catch to the fielder in the deep, that would not have been a good way to go.

66th over: England 214-6 (Smith 9, Jacks 11) Smith pushes a single off Lyon. It’s the only run off the over. Oohs and ahhs from the Aussie fielders, I wouldn’t say Marnus is quiet exactly.

65th over: England 213-6 (Smith 8, Jacks 11) Smith drives Cameron Green for three more but it was uppish and not too far away from the bowler’s gargantuan wing span in his follow through. Jacks then nearly nicks off with a loosey goosey drive. Gah. To channel Ray Winstone in The Departed – I’m here to tell you there are ways to get out and ways to not get out, getting out caught and bowled to a loose drive is not a way to get out.

(To be read in a weird Mockney/Boston accent)

“Hi James, is it cowardly to pray for the end of the world?”

Be careful what you wish for John Leavey… most England fans would take a nine hour rain storm in South Australia though.

On the TNT coverage Ebony Rainford-Brent and Alastair Cook are discussing England’s required run rate for the day, which feels a little optimistic.

Cameron Green watches Will Jacks and Jamie Smith take a run
Cameron Green watches Will Jacks and Jamie Smith take a run. Photograph: William West/AFP/Getty Images

64th over: England 210-6 (Smith 5, Jacks 11) Jamie Smith uses his feet to Lyon’s second ball and collects three runs to get England going for the day. Good intent from Smith, he’s playing for an awful lot today. He’s been incredibly meek on this tour so far, he’s a quiet lad but his batting is usually extremely confident. We haven’t seen anything from him at all and questions are being asked of his place in the side. He’s not the only one of course. Jacks blocks out the rest of the over. Australia have 16 overs until the new ball, they may not need it.

It is murky in Adelaide but the players are coming out onto the field and we’ll start on time. Jamie Smith and Will Jacks head to the middle, Nathan Lyon is going to start with the ball. Once more unto the breach … let’s play!

England’s Jamie Smith and Will Jacks (right) walk out to bat
England’s Jamie Smith and Will Jacks (right) walk out to bat. Photograph: Robbie Stephenson/PA

“Quite apart from his admirable stint with the willow, shout-out to Zac Crawley for his excellent post-match interview yesterday.” Writes Sarah Benton. “Even this Aussie-in-Ingerland can see him doing well on the after-dinner circuit in the future.”

“Until the last man is out, there is still hope for England.” Writes Andrew Benton. “And what next? Maybe England will win the next two and it’ll be a respectable 3:2 scoreline. Maybe heads will roll on Monday. But it’s all over far too soon.”

Would a 3-2 scoreline be more frustrating for England fans? If they suddenly start playing like we know they can when the pressure is off and the series is gone it’ll make what we’ve seen so far even more galling I reckon.

Geoff Lemon penned an ode to the magnificent Pat Cummins:

“England supporters will spend four years until their team’s next visit pondering explanations for this poor showing, inevitably including much examination of the lack of chances for their bowlers to adjust to Australian conditions. Cummins spent five months in the gym and the nets without once seeing the middle of a ground, latterly powering through what might have been a few months of rehab in the space of a few weeks, then hit the pitch for a Test match like he had never been away.”

“We’re staring down the barrel, so it’s disappointing. But we’ll never give up.”

Zak Crawley spoke honestly last evening:

“At which point, enter Brook, who is deep in it, an entire Test career played out around this regime, and who appears to be still fighting the second world war from inside a small copse. Brook and Crawley were putting pressure on the bowlers simply by surviving. The end of the day had begun to loom. This was England’s best batting of the series. At which point Brook did the thing.”

Barney Ronay lamented the latest brain fade from Harry Brook:

“There was a time when England players threw around phrases like “the more runs, the better” such was their confidence in the chase. But tasked with knocking off a world record 435 runs to stop Australia winning this Ashes series at the earliest opportunity, one suspects it was not said on Saturday.

Instead, having picked up six cheap wickets first thing to set up an unlikely five-session challenge, it was about seeing where they could get to by stumps on day four. The upshot was 207 for six from 63 overs which, while progress of sorts on this malfunctioning tour, means Australia will go into the final day of the third Test on the verge of an unassailable 3-0 lead.”

Catch up with Ali Martin’s report from yesterday:

Preamble

James Wallace

James Wallace

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make result you get is equal to the way you perform on the pitch when it really matters. In the eye of the storm and in the heat of the pressure, against well drilled and ruthless opponents who don’t give you an inch. In the end, it took just 11 days.

Australia will win the Ashes today in Adelaide. It might take a few minutes, it might take a few hours, but it will happen. They’ve been magnificent, England have been a lot of things but mainly thunderingly, shatteringly, crushingly disappointing.

There has been rain around in Adelaide but the covers are off and the players are out in the middle going through their motions. England will resume on 207-6 and require a notional 228 more runs from the four wickets they have left to keep their Ashes hopes alive. That ain’t happening folks. With respect and apologies to Will Jacks, Jamie Smith and the rest of the lower order, I’ll swallow this laptop whole if they get within 100 runs of the 435 target.

Plenty to get stuck in to, do drop me a line if you are tuning in to these last rites. Play begins in just under 30 minutes. The End is nigh, the urn is Australia’s (almost).

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