6 hours ago
6
Name: Exclamation marks!
Age: Nearly 700 years old!
Appearance: A damning indictment of society’s gender roles!!
Are you going to do that after every sentence? I’m already exhausted. I am! Because otherwise you might not be able to see how excited I am to talk to you! And then you might start hating me!!
I think the ship has already sailed on that one. Oh no! Please love me! Or no worries if not!
Please tell me what’s going on. Next month’s issue of the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology will contain research into why we use exclamation marks, and who uses them, and the results aren’t particularly great reading for women.
You ended that one with a full stop. Sorry! It’s the last time I’ll do it, I promise!! Gen Z, I know, believe full stops “signify an abrupt or angry tone of voice” and avoid using them!
Why is this latest research bad for women? Because it found that women use exclamation marks in communication three times more often than men do, something rooted in their realisation that society will reject them as cold and unfriendly if they don’t go out of their way to appear enthusiastic!
That can’t be true. I promise it is! Here, take a look at this: it’s nice to meet you.
What have I done wrong? Why do you hate me? You see? Now that we tend to primarily communicate in writing, it’s easy to read a neutral tone as aggressive or hostile! Maybe this is better: it’s nice to meet you!!!
Did we just become best friends? No, I am still at best ambivalent about you! But the exclamation mark made you think I am warmer and more approachable than I really am! There’s a tangible benefit to using them!
Are there any downsides? Hundreds!! The study mentions that, while people who use exclamation marks are often thought of as friendly, they are also perceived to be less skilled at analytical thinking! It’s completely eroding my authority!
This is why official announcements don’t use them. That’s right! When Queen Elizabeth II died in 2022, for example, the principal proclamation didn’t read: “The Prince Charles Philip Arthur George is now, by the Death of our late Sovereign of Happy Memory, become our only lawful and rightful Liege Lord Charles the Third, by the Grace of God!” It would look crazy!!!!
Are you using more exclamation marks than you did a few hundred words ago? Unfortunately yes!! You see, in a culture where all sentences have to end in an exclamation mark, a single one on its own no longer has any impact! We need to start using more and more, because it’s important to be seen as agreeable!!!
That doesn’t look like fun. It isn’t!!!
Do say: “The exclamation mark is becoming ubiquitous”
Don’t say: “The exclamation mark is becoming ubiquitous!!!!!!!!!1!”
