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Born in County Dublin, Graham Norton, 63, studied at the Royal Central School of Speech and Drama in London. In the 1990s, he was a standup and appeared in the sitcom Father Ted. Since 2007, he has presented The Graham Norton Show for the BBC. He hosts Eurovision, is a judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK, and is presenting new reality show The Neighbourhood, which starts on 24 April on ITV. He has won nine Baftas and written three memoirs and five novels. He is married and lives in London and West Cork.
When were you happiest?
Our wedding weekend in Ireland.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Impatience married with being very quick to judge.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
I called Elizabeth McGovern Elizabeth Montgomery throughout a show. But, bless her, she didn’t say anything.
What is your most treasured possession?
I don’t care about anything. I’m so happy to throw things away.
Describe yourself in three words
Old gay man.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Oh my God, let’s start with eyebags. I could get rid of them but I’m just too lazy, so instead I’ll just moan.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Ryan Gosling.
What is your most unappealing habit?
There’s a long list: nail-biting, nose-picking …
What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?
When I was growing up, my mother would accuse me of showing off. That’s the most shaming, humbling, horrible thing. What was I doing? Showing off!
Would you choose fame or anonymity?
When people say to Billy Crystal, “Oh, I wish I was rich and famous,” he always says, “Try being rich first.” And I know what he means.
What was the last lie you told?
I lie all the time. It’s probably been since we’ve been talking.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
Back in the day, when comedy was crueller, my monologues were full of terrible jokes about people, and you can’t apologise because then you’re asking people to forgive you. Your punishment is to walk around knowing you said these horrible things.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Mother-slash-husband – not that I’m married to my mother, but you know what I mean.
Which living person do you most despise, and why?
It’ll be one of those tech bro billionaires.
If not yourself, who would you most like to be?
My dog. What breed is he? He’s not public facing. I’ll acknowledge his existence, but that’s it.
How often do you have sex?
I feel, over 60, one should not discuss one’s sex life.
What is the closest you’ve come to death?
I was stabbed in my 20s. It was a late-night mugging and, while taking my wallet, they stabbed me in my chest.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Now that I’m at this end of my career, I’m gobsmacked that I’ve managed to cling on for as long as I have.
How would you like to be remembered?
I couldn’t care less.
Tell us a secret
I could tell you the name of my dog, but no.
