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Paul, you must rank as one of the most committed moustache-wearers in Britain. When was the last time you were clean-shaven? DoubleRDiner
I’m an ambassador for Marie Curie and shaved it off live on X over lockdown. I’ve had the moustache since I was 23. It’s not itchy. I have to trim it, else it comes down over the lip and gets thick and bushy. I’ve tried going full walrus, but it doesn’t look good.
Were the physical comedy greats from the silent era such as Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd and Max Linder an inspiration for you and your brother [Barry] getting started in slapstick? Tombo
Yes. Slapstick is something we’ve always found funny. Laurel and Hardy were our favourites. You can’t go wrong with visual comedy. There can’t be many people that don’t laugh at somebody falling down. We were brought up in showbusiness. My dad [Gene Patton, who worked with Peter Sellers] was a comedian and very visual. Our mum was a dancer. Our two older brothers were in the business. We’d been brought up in and out of the theatre all our lives and found it natural to be on stage.
Was there ever any rivalry between you and your older brothers Jimmy and Brian, AKA the Patton Brothers? Top Tramp
Jimmy was 16 years older than me and in the business when I was born. Brian is 14 years older; he’s 92 in December. They sang, danced and did comedy. They were always on Saturday night telly through the 50s and 60s, tap-dancing with Ronnie Corbett and Harry Secombe. We used to tap-dance, but I wasn’t brilliant. When we were Butlin’s redcoats back in 1966, I had to learn to ballroom dance as well. We dropped the dancing in the early 70s and went pure comedy. My sister, Sheila, was a dancer, and my brother, Colin, was a motor mechanic. Sadly they’ve all gone. It’s just me and Brian left.
Did working with your brother Barry for so long bring you as much happiness as it brought your audience? Roheon
I think more. Anybody that watched us live could see the fun we had on stage. It was the same with filming – just look at the ChuckleVision outtakes. We loved each other and just had fun. He’d say something that made me laugh and I’d say something that made him laugh. I miss him dearly. That’s the biggest thing I miss – working with him on stage – because we did so together for over 50 years.
What’s your favourite episode? Cropolite
Playing football at [former Rotherham United stadium] Millmoor was a good one. We had fun making them all. ChuckleVision was on for 23 years, so several generations grew up with us. I can’t go down the street without somebody wanting a selfie. It takes me ages to go around the supermarket. It’s a lovely feeling and I never get fed up with it.
What’s the strangest place someone’s tried to do “to me, to you”? Nowtonttelly
Well, never in the gents toilet, I’ll tell you that! I was in the Maldives, walking down the street because my wife wanted to go shopping, and this little guy came out of the shop and went: “To me, to you.” I said: “How do you know that?” He said: “Two years in England. It was my favourite show, I watched it all the time.”
We’ve had some great comedians go on to be noted actors in theatre: Max Wall, Ken Dodd, etc. Any ambitions to do Samuel Beckett or Shakespeare? LowerColon
“To me, or not to me, that is the question?” I doubt very much I would be able to learn those lines, but if it was offered, I’d have a go.
What was your first reaction when you were offered the role of a ruthless London gangster in Fall to the Top? ingledoody
“Bring it on!” I thought: well, that suits me down to the ground. I used to bully Barry around in Chuckle Brothers. Why not go one step further?
How about being the next Bond? Murdomania
Well, the retired James Bond, at my age. Who wouldn’t like to play James Bond?
Enjoyed your lockdown DJ sets. What is your approach when it comes to jockeying the discs? What’s your go-to floor-filler? And were “2 metre U” Covid face masks your own idea? qbflestrin and Pizanti
I do all sorts. I do one-hour spots as a guest DJ – singalong, house music, whatever they want. Tsunami [by Dvbbs and Borgeous] is a good floor-filler. I’ve been clubbing all my life. Even now, I still go. I’ll finish panto, then me and the wife will go clubbing. We saw Judge Jules in Falmouth the other week. I’d love to do Radio 1’s Essential Mix. They just haven’t asked me. In terms of the face masks, we were walking to the local Co-op in Doncaster over lockdown, and outside they had two full-sized cut-outs of me and Barry, saying: “2 metre U.” I thought: “Cheeky sods, using our names and catchphrase.” Then we thought: “Hang on, there’s something to add here. Let’s do “2 metre U” masks with our picture on.” They sold very well.
Who is the most famous person to tell you they love your work? TooMuchSpareTime
We were filming the National Treasures sketch for Red Nose Day. We were just leaving, going down the stairs, and Liam Gallagher came up two steps at a time, really quickly. My wife, Sue, said: “That’s Liam Gallagher.” I said: “Was it?” I shot back up the stairs behind him, and said: “Liam. Can I have a selfie?” He said to his girlfriend: “Get the camera out. Take a picture.” So he got a picture with me and I got a selfie with him.
Who do you think is funnier on Gogglebox – your grandnephew Pete or your grandniece Sophie? I say Pete. ArthurThistlewood
I think they’re just as fun as each other. Why haven’t I been on Celebrity Gogglebox? They’ve never asked!
How would you and Barry have best handled the Kray twins if they started taking liberties in your manor in 1963: gang war, settle it like gentlemen, or from you to them? Mr_202
We’d have nailed them, then backed off slowly.
Which would you have preferred? Fame and a successful TV career, or Rotherham United in the Premier League? stephenw1979
That’s a tough one. I’d love to see Rotherham in the Premier League, but I think fame and success because, when you’re in the business, it’s something you crave. We were working men’s clubs, nightclubs, theatres and pantomimes, hoping one day we’d get that break, which we got after 23 years slugging around. We won Opportunity Knocks in 1967 and we won New Faces in 1974. But it wasn’t until 1984 that we got noticed. We did a tour over Easter with Roger the Dog, who had his own BBC One children’s show.
I remember doing a matinee in Ashton-under-Lyne in Greater Manchester, with an audience of 28 people in a 1,000-seat theatre. As Dad told us: “Always give 100%, whether 1,000 people have paid £20 each or 20 have paid £20 each.” We just had a laugh and made it like a little party. What we didn’t know was that at the back of the theatre, the producer and director of Roger the Dog were watching. We got a phonecall the next day asking us to go for lunch. We ended up wearing dog costumes in Roger the Dog, which we borrowed from It’s a Knockout, and asked if we could call the characters the ChuckleHounds.
At the end of the series, they did a survey around the country asking people what they thought was the best part of Roger the Dog. And 97% said the ChuckleHounds! So they gave us our own series, which went on to become ChuckleVision, and it’s all gone from there. And here we are.
