Things could be worse. The prime minister can still catch a break. Some had called Monday’s Commons statement Keir Starmer’s judgment day. But that was a category error. Many Labour MPs had long since made up their minds. Keir wasn’t the right person to be running the country. But it was just that now, with a war in the Middle East and the local elections early next month, was not the right time to think about replacing him. The party and the country wouldn’t thank them for turning a drama into a crisis.
You may also wonder whether the lack of interest in replacing their leader to be found among Labour backbenchers was mirrored by Starmer’s lack of interest in being prime minister. Because it’s increasingly looking as though he often fails to do the basics. I mean, I’m sure he likes being prime minister. When he remembers he is prime minister. We can’t be certain he doesn’t have to be reminded from time to time.
Starmer undeniably does things differently. He may be effective on the international stage but it doesn’t appear to occur to him to ask the questions that any normal person would. Like, did Peter Mandelson pass his security vetting? Now, it may be civil service protocol not to reveal these things, but presumably the prime minister has the highest security clearance of almost anyone in the country.
So surely there would have been a way for Olly Robbins to say Mandy had failed, without saying he had failed. Something like: “There were one or two issues. Maybe you should have a rethink.” Potentially embarrassing as Keir had already appointed him, but not as disastrous as the current mess. Yet, for reasons that are unclear, Starmer never thought to ask Robbins. Perhaps he thought it was impolite and expected Olly to raise the matter first.
Nor is it clear why Starmer was so desperate to appoint Mandelson in the first place. Was it really a question of having an amoral narcissist in place to deal with another amoral narcissist? It wasn’t as if the risks of making Mandelson ambassador weren’t blindingly obvious even before the security vetting. Twice being sacked for breaking the ministerial code. A longstanding friendship with Jeffrey Epstein. The close ties between Mandelson’s lobbying firm and China. Red flags wherever you looked. Even the king was queasy about this one. But Keir was adamant. Mandy or bust.
Nor has anything got much clearer since the Guardian broke the story last week that Mandelson had failed his vetting. There have been claims and counterclaims by No 10 and Robbins. Downing St is now trying to claim the prime minister repeatedly asked Robbins if Mandelson had passed his vetting. If so, it appears to have done so in code. Because Robbins hasn’t yet confirmed this. And it’s hard to imagine Olly could have deadbatted a non-answer convincingly over a period of months. Almost nothing makes sense.
What Starmer asked us to accept in his Commons statement was incredible. He began with an apology for a failure of judgment in appointing Mandelson in the first place. As if to get it out the way. When this was really his biggest crime. I could have told him Mandelson was a wrong ‘un. You could have told him Mandelson was a wrong ‘un. That everything Mandy-related invariably ends in tears. Mandy takes everyone down with him. He is indiscriminate. But for reasons even Starmer can’t explain, he was desperate to give him the job.
The main body of the statement was Keir re-assuming his role as director of public prosecutions. Only this time, the man in the dock was Robbins. It was Olly who had time and again refused to give him the information. Who had allowed him and the foreign secretary to make statements that had been incorrect. Though Starmer couldn’t explain why he had failed to ask the right questions. Or indeed any questions at all.
“Many will find these facts to be incredible,” Starmer concluded. To loud jeers from the opposition benches. And to pained expressions from his own. It is, indeed, bewildering that the process of government could be this incompetent. So haphazard. A prime minister kept deliberately out of the loop. Even Jim Hacker was better informed. “They are right,” Keir continued. “It beggars belief.”
Mind you, this wasn’t Kemi’s finest hour either. She stood up to huge cheers from her own MPs. All anticipating a slam dunk. Nailing Starmer to the floor. Only she couldn’t quite do that. She had been hoping to accuse Keir of misleading the house. To demand his resignation. Only she couldn’t do that. The prime minister’s timeline was watertight. Besides, calling Starmer a liar might have been a bit much. She has been telling fibs about her enthusiasm for the Iran war. And it wasn’t long ago that she was defending Boris Johnson. Pots and kettles.
As it was, her questions were all over the place. Even her frontbench didn’t seem to quite know what she was angling for. Maybe more will be revealed later in the week at prime minister’s questions. Not that Starmer could in any way relax. He hasn’t looked this nervous in the Commons in years. He knows his credibility is on the line. Because if he didn’t know, it was his job to know. This was Mandelson after all.
There was no let-up. Ed Davey demanded Starmer’s resignation. The prime minister was in office but not in power. The most damning assessment of all. The puppet PM being manipulated and kept out of the loop by his officials. It would almost have been better if he had known about the vetting and approved it regardless. At least he would have been in control. The Tory MP Jeremy Wright wondered if Starmer would have bothered to tell the intelligence and security committee about the vetting failure if the Guardian hadn’t broken the story.
Nor was there much love on the Labour benches. Emily Thornberry accused No 10 of wanting to give Mandelson the job whatever the case. Diane Abbott wondered what more anyone had needed to know about Mandy, while John McDonnell spotted a Morgan McSweeney stitch-up. No love lost from these three. Even those Labour backbenchers asking whip-planted questions sounded half-hearted and miserable. Doing their bit for the cause cost them a slice of their soul. The shame of a government that looks as incompetent as the Tories.
It was only a matter of time before one MP made a spectacle of themselves by calling Starmer a liar. That was Lee Anderson. Asked to withdraw the remark, he refused and was thrown out the chamber. Typical of Lee to miss the point. The reality was that Starmer wasn’t lying. It would have been better if he had been. The truth was as bad as it gets.

5 hours ago
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