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The Guardian published a story on its website late on Wednesday with the headline: Igor Tudor to carry on at Spurs but future in doubt beyond Liverpool match. Given the past four games, and especially Tuesday night, most Tottenham fans may find it surprising that the (seemingly-disastrously-poor-at-making-decisions) decision makers are giving the emotionless Croat one more roll of the dice.
But beneath the headline, in slightly smaller font: “Harry Redknapp rules himself out of return.” A real human person wrote the words that a 79-year-old has had to rule himself out of managing Tottenham again. In March 2026.
What makes it even more bizarre is that I, and perhaps many other Spurs fans, are a little disappointed to hear that he’s not leaning out of a Range Rover window at the training ground right now.
“It’s probably not going to happen, is it?” Harry said. “Would I go back? Of course I would, but I doubt very much it’s going to happen. My only concern at the minute is The Jukebox Man in the Gold Cup. I’m nothing to do with Spurs any more. They haven’t been in touch, not at all.”
And after Cheltenham Harry is off to I’m A Celebrity All Stars in South Africa – on balance it’s probably easier to drink jungle juice through a wildebeast’s vas deferens with Sinitta than it is to get a tune out of Randal Kolo Muani.
Those opening 20 minutes at the Wanda Metropolitano were quite something. We have all watched a lot of football matches. Good ones, bad ones, thrilling ones, tense ones and many many forgettable ones.
There are often moments that are truly thrilling – that Fede Valverde touch to evade Marc Guéhi at the Bernabéu or Antoine Griezmann’s cushioned volley to set Julián Alvarez free on Tuesday.
But it is incredibly rare to watch a game and not really believe what’s happening in front of your eyes. How is it possible that Spurs have got to the stage where their players can’t even stand up?
I did once take a call on TalkSport from an England fan who has rewatched the Euro 2016 Iceland game more than once. That is an admirable level of masochism. So out of curiosity and just to check I’m not misremembering the agony, I decided to rewatch the opening 20 minutes of Tottenham’s match. It’s funny to see all the main characters just doing their thing before kick-off without the knowledge of what’s to come.
Igor Tudor hilariously noted Spurs were in the game for the first three minutes – and he’s got a point. Atléti don’t get a kick until 2min 40sec. Djed to-handshake-or-not-to-handshake Spence gets an early booking. It’s the first Spurs player to slip over in a night of slips.
By the fourth minute, the warning signs are there. Ademola Lookman breaks down the left, and Spurs somehow scramble clear. A minute later and it’s 1-0. Cristian Romero to Antonin Kinsky, he slips and kicks the ball against his standing leg. He puts his hands on his head. We go again. It’s OK, Antonin, get it out of your system. You can’t do that twice in the opening 20 minutes.
6:57: “This could be very, very long night for Tottenham Hotspur,” says the commentator Bill Leslie. Bill is right. Corner to Atléti. Spurs haven’t touched the ball in four minutes. Kinsky rolls it to Kevin Danso who plays a bobbly pass to Pedro Porro and it’s out of play for an Atléti throw. A classic Spurs move this season.
10:37: Kinsky kicks the ball to a teammate and remains on his feet. 11.39: Spurs complete three passes. 12.09: Kolo Muani runs the ball out of play for no reason. It’s all calmed down. Perhaps we can play our way into this. 12:42: A SHOT! Richarlison attempts a crab football strike from the edge of the box.
13:19: Micky van de Ven falls over. 2-0. Not even a gazelle like him looks coordinated when falling on his backside. Romero yells into the sky. OK, breathe. Reset. But there isn’t time – the camera cuts from a slo-mo replay of a celebrating Griezmann to Kinsky kicking the ball against his standing foot AGAIN. 14:53: “Oh dear Kinsky again,” says Bill. “Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Alvarez can walk it in.” The reverse angle sees the 22-year-old crumple to the turf in slow motion. I can’t stop replaying it. It’s verging on heartbreaking.
16:24: Wait, what? A substitution. The camera cuts to Atléti fans applauding and laughing. It is a brutal game. Kinsky goes down the tunnel. In real time we don’t see the Tudor snub. 17:00: The kick-off. Danso sidefoots the ball out of play. A four-minute period of calm. 21:40: It’s 4-0. 22:06: Tudor is playing an imaginary piano saying: “Calm, calm, calm, calm, calm.” To be honest Igor, it feels a little late for that.
Like The Usual Suspects, you see different things the second time you watch it. But it confirms that in a season of disasters, perhaps this is the biggest one.
And if it is the nadir, then the only way is up. Apart, of course, from the distinct possibility that the only way is down. Tudor still appears to be the manager of Tottenham. Are Johan Lange and Vinai Venkatesham just buffering? What could they possibly say to each other at meetings?
The reputational damage to them, to Tudor, to most of the squad may be far-reaching. I keep looking at Archie Gray, one of the few players to emerge with any credit. He was 20 on Thursday. I want to say “It’s OK Archie, it won’t always be like this.” But it could be 2040 – Archie is in his 16th season at the club and people are genuinely suggesting 93-year-old Harry Redknapp is the guy to save us. If only there was a word for all of this.
