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Exchanging gifts is delightful. It can also be fraught. How do you choose something the receiver will enjoy or find meaningful? And must you act pleased if you receive a tub of anti-cellulite cream?
With the holidays fast approaching, 11 Guardian readers shared the best and worst gifts they have ever received. Can we learn anything from their experiences? Perhaps not: “Don’t just give something that appeals to you,” writes one, and “Always gift something you want,” writes another.
No wonder so many of us have a hard time figuring it out.
‘It’s a bat’s head’
Best: My husband took me on a cruise up the Nile river for my birthday. It was the trip of a lifetime.
Worst: One winter evening at college, a fellow student came up to me and declared: “This is for you. It’s a bat’s head.” It was a very heavy box. He had never expressed romantic interest in me before, and I was so surprised I said nothing. It was cold, so I hurried back to my dorm room. I had feared it was an anatomical specimen, but what I found was a mass of hardened plaster of paris. My roommate and I went to the dumpster and dropped it in.
Brenda, Portland
An unwelcome beauty product
Best: When my son was 13, he started working as a paper boy in the afternoon, six days a week. My Christmas present from him that year was a food processor, which I could not afford to buy myself as a single, low-income mother.
Worst: A male colleague gave me Lancôme anti-cellulite cream.
Guri, 72, Norway
… Another unwelcome beauty product
Best: My parents weren’t gift givers. Mostly they just didn’t buy anything, but for Christmas when I was 10, they bought me a new bike, and a trip to Germany to visit a friend by myself. I thought this was incredible. In hindsight, now that I have kids, I think maybe they were just trying to get rid of me for a break.
Worst: When I was 17, my mum’s friend bought me cellulite-reducing tights.
Kelly, Brighton
A stinky ice tray
Best: My daughter surprised me with a trip to Kauai, Hawaii. The trip was magical. We watched giant sea turtles coming up on the beach and sunset to rest.
Worst: Silicone ice cube trays. The giver said he saw me struggling with a regular tray. I thought it was a strange thing to be considered a gift. It also smelled bad. Anonymous, California
Tim Curry (good) and Tim Curry (bad)
Best: As a massive Tim Curry fan, I was surprised to find one of my former colleagues knew and liked his work. She gave me a mug printed with his most prominent characters. I’m too scared to use it. It’s special.
Worst: The drawback of being a Tim Curry aficionado is that he’s in a lot of films of doubtful quality. I think the worst is Four Dogs Playing Poker. My dad gave it to me for Christmas. I regifted it to an unsuspecting frenemy.
Bonnie, 42, Netherlands
Marital highs and lows
Best: Ruby earrings from my soon-to-be second husband.
Worst: A vacuum cleaner which was the beginning of an eventual divorce.
Anonymous, Virginia
Gurus and fire rituals
Best: My then-guru gave me a beautiful, large bronze Quan Yin, seated on a dragon.
Worst: One year, my friend gave me an ugly wooden carved gnome face. She loved and collected them. I was horrified. It felt evil! I’d been invited to a new year’s fire ritual, and it immediately went into the flames.
Anonymous, North Carolina
Floor mats and singing fish
Best: Rubber floor mats for my first car, a Saab 900S. I lived in Chicago and needed to protect the car’s carpet. It was the only thing I wanted and I was so happy to get it.
Worst: Billy Bass. Who needs a singing fish on a wall plaque?
Anonymous
A quilt for a quiltmaker
Worst: I have 30 years of experience making quilts. One Christmas, my mom bought me a Walmart quilt. I’ve never figured out why.
Susan, retired, Georgia
Deadly nuts
Best: I used to work for a homeless charity, and one of my responsibilities was to supervise a workshop where people could learn woodworking skills. It had been a difficult year with a funding crisis looming. Out of the blue, the trainees presented me with a beautiful wooden candle box, crafted from cherry wood. It’s still in use, and it holds red candles for my advent wreath.
Worst: I received a large, fancy box of assorted nuts. I have a severe nut allergy, which most people are aware of. Or so I thought.
Anonymous, Scotland
Thoughtful tea towels
Best: This will probably sound like many people’s idea of a “worst” gift, but my husband got me two dozen new tea towels. We use them for cloth napkins and all sorts of household tasks. Getting more was thoughtful, and a sign my husband was listening to what I wanted rather than buying me something more conventional that I’m supposed to want.
Maria, 40s, Minnesota
