Andy Burnham faces an impossible job. At least he’s got a secret weapon – Kemi Badenoch

2 hours ago 8

Call it the gentlest of all reality checks. A quantum realignment in expectations. The faintest reminder to both Andy Burnham and Labour backbenchers that international bond markets are impervious to Manchester charm and positivity. Despite a summer of feelgood announcements from the government, there is no escaping the fact that the country is still up shit creek. It’s going to be a tough ride ahead. Nothing will come pain-free.

Still, a new prime minister has to learn to take the wins – however small – as they come along. In the wider scheme of things, a good prime minister’s questions means next to nothing: it’s nothing more than politics as performance. Yet it can set the tone and buy a prime minister some goodwill from MPs and the media. Plus, it’s a weekly event so you may as well be good at it.

Burnham can be very pleased with his first outing, even if it didn’t go totally as billed. We had been promised a more consensual politics. An end to point scoring. That lasted all of five minutes. After that, it was business as usual. Partly because that’s the way PMQs has always been set up, but mainly because Andy just couldn’t help himself.

It would have taken a will of iron to resist. Not least because Kemi Badenoch made it so easy for him. Not for the first time, Labour’s secret weapon is the Tory leader. She just can’t help herself from speaking without thinking, getting lost in her own sense of brilliance and failing to spot the traps she is setting for herself. Still, at least no one can call Kemi boring. Though it is quite hard to see why so many Tories seem to drink her Kool-Aid.

You could tell that Burnham was very nervous at the start. Understandably so. Twitchy. Not totally in command. PMQs is always an ordeal and never more so for a leader on whom so many Labour hopes have been pinned. Some of them Burnham has even pinned on himself.

“It’s good to be back at the dispatch box,” he began, before listing some of the Labour government’s achievements. Like the number of small boat crossings being at their lowest for years. The Tories barely looked up. It was almost as if they had never been that bothered about illegal immigration, and they certainly weren’t about to give Labour any credit. Opposition parties hate it when something goes well. There’s nothing that suits them better than a country in crisis. They never seem to realise that one day they might be called upon to sort it out.

Kemi Badenoch speaking during prime minister's questions in the House of Commons. She is seen in profile and looks animated with one hand raised, pointing one finger in front of her.
Kemi Badenoch decided she had had enough sweet-talk. Photograph: House of Commons/PA

Kemi’s opening gambit was flirtatious. Going out of her way to congratulate Andy on his stamina. Burnham merely nodded. A lot of people had said that to him. Then Kemi decided she had had enough sweet-talk. That was Burnham’s problem. Always promising the earth. Never daring to say no to anyone. Too desperate to be loved to be a good leader. So could he mention anything he had ever cut?

First the smile, then the reply. “Tax,” Burnham said. This was effectively game over for PMQs. Kemi had imagined a Keir Starmer-like evasion. A prime minister caught out. She had never dreamed of this. Andy spelled it out. He had removed VAT on electricity bills. He had cut business rates for pubs and hospitality venues. He didn’t choose to point out these cuts had been paid for by cutting a budget for digital ID that had never existed. Best to keep it simple.

Next Kemi turned to the bond markets. She seemed to think they had it in for Labour. Burnham kept it pleasant and polite. It was like this. The international bond markets didn’t have a special grudge against him. This wasn’t personal. They hadn’t been waiting for Tuesday’s statement, itching to put interest rates up.

This was a global problem. Other countries were also facing rising borrowing costs. And if Kemi really wanted to know where the blame lay, she could take a look at her own party’s 14 years of stagnant growth. It was the Tories who had trashed the economy. He was merely trying to pick up the pieces. He could also have blamed the Iran war and the spike in oil prices. A war for which Kemi had been initially enthusiastic. Her judgment is seldom the best.

Now Kemi sounded almost hurt. As if a promise had been broken. Burnham had said there would be no more point scoring, and here he was openly point scoring. I know, I know, said Andy unapologetically. He just couldn’t help himself. It was just too tempting. It made him feel good about himself to hear the laughs and support of his own backbenchers. PMQs wasn’t all about him. It was a team sport.

So while he was about it, Burnham had plenty more points to score. Kemi has yet to realise just how vulnerable she has made herself by appointing Andrew Griffith as shadow chancellor. The man who co-authored Liz Truss’s mini-budget and was one of its most outspoken defenders.

For Labour this is an open goal and they are going to be kicking the ball into the net as often as possible. Kemi may be a woman who doesn’t believe in history. Who thinks each day is a surprising new beginning. But the country is still a long way from forgiving the Tory party for the lasting damage caused by 49 days of Tory chaos. So the self-harm is going to continue for a while.

After failing to rule out further tax rises and spending commitments, Burnham went back to his happy place. Good vibes, hope and positivity. All of which are enough to make this a comfortable first PMQs. But he will be more than aware that this is a half-hour bubble and that life will only get tougher outside it.

Though Andy appears to be a sucker for work. He spent the rest of the session offering meetings to virtually every MP. Soon his whole life will be one long meeting. Or a meeting to find out why a meeting was not necessary. Meetings to rule out further meetings. Still, I am sure he will enjoy his meeting with Samantha Niblett, whose stated mission has been to have a summer of sex. And to tell as many people as possible about it.

Not everything went Burnham’s way. A disgruntled Tan Dhesi, the Labour chair of the defence select committee, was extremely grumpy about the 3% promise. Or possibly not being asked to be a minister. Still, Andy looked happy enough when the speaker called time. The first PMQs was over and he was 1-0 up. Not that anyone was keeping the score. Much.

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