1 week ago
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Key events
76 min: The game nearly creaks to a halt. Then Ngumoha suddenly drops a shoulder, turns on the jets, and wins a corner down the right. From which …
74 min: Gordon probes down the left. He miscontrols, but the ball breaks past the full-back anyway, and he’s into the box! He cuts back for Toney, but once again the pair aren’t on the same wavelength and the All Whites clear their lines.
73 min: The pace drops.
71 min: The game restarts.
70 min: While the players take on water, let us turn our thoughts to infrastructure. “Any idea why we’re not using standard Fifa goalposts?” wonders Dave Estherby. “Those ones look like they belong at Stamford Bridge circa 1994.” They do look a bit toytown, encouraging Henry Rawlings to go further: “Is it just me or do the goalposts look deceptively five-a-side?”
68 min: Break for bevvies!
67 min: England stroke it around patiently. It is hot, after all. They’ve made 442 successful passes to New Zealand’s 164.
65 min: Anderson slips a pass down the right channel for Ngumoha, who nips infield before trying to release Toney on the overlap. Ngumoha overhits the pass, but the young man has looked lively since coming on. He never once hid from the ball during Liverpool’s miserable campaign, and he’s not doing so here either. He’s a star in the making all right.
63 min: New Zealand make a triple change, replacing Cacace, Garbett and cumbia star Payne with Old, Bindon and Randall.
62 min: VAR sizes everything up, and yes, Toney was offside, and no, it’s not a penalty.
61 min: But VAR is going to check anyway. No doubt getting the old rulers out for the offside.
60 min: Toney is again clipped, this time by Garbett in the box as he latches onto a pass down the left channel. Penalty! Penalty? No penalty, because Toney was marginally offside. That would have been another soft foul, to be fair.
58 min: O’Reilly slips a ball down the inside left for Toney, who spins Payne and wins a foul. There wasn’t much contact, but Toney was wily. James again over the set piece, just to the left of the D … and he spanks it straight into the wall.
56 min: James sends the free kick in, but a couple of red shirts clank into white ones, some NFL-style blocking at the home of the Bucs that won’t wash. Flag!
55 min: England are pushing New Zealand back. The All Whites can’t get out. Singh clips Anderson in frustration and the Forest midfielder goes down. A grimace, but there’s nothing to worry about as he’s immediately back up onto his feet. James prepares to send the free kick in from the right.
53 min: Gordon sashays in from the left and looks for the bottom right. Blocked. The ball breaks to Ngumoha, who twinkles in from the right but can’t fashion enough space to shoot.
51 min: Gordon scampers after a long pass down the left and cuts back in the hope of finding Toney, but the striker is ahead of the ball. Nobody coming in at the far post for England, so the All Whites clear.
50 min: Burn looked genuinely aghast at missing a big chance to score his first international goal. It was a good one, with the keeper on walkabout.
49 min: Gordon wins a corner down the left. It’s sent into the mixer. Crocombe comes off his line to punch clear but misses. Burn wins a header, but from six yards pings it off the outside of the right-hand post and away for a goal kick.
48 min: Admin all complete. We may have more to do later, because should Ngumoha find the net today, he’d beat Wayne Rooney’s record as youngest scorer for England.
47 min: … and so is most of the second. New Zealand have made one change themselves, sending on Rufer for Bell.
New Zealand get the ball rolling for the second half. The first minute is soundtracked by a long PA announcement of all the changes.
As expected, England have changed their entire team. There’s a debut for 17-year-old Liverpool winger Rio Ngumoha.
England: Trafford, James, Konsa, Burn, Livramento, O’Reilly, Anderson, Bellingham, Ngumoha, Gordon, Toney.
HALF-TIME ENTERTAINMENT. “England may not have a memorable song for WC26, but New Zealand’s Tim Payne has his own cumbia thanks to some Argentinian influencers,” reports Andy Gordon. “He now has 5.3 million followers on Instagram, equal to the population of his country.”
All together everyone …
🎵 🎶 They say Messi, they say Pelé
They say Maradona too
But from the stands a new chant came:
The new GOAT is Tim Payne, it’s true! 🎶 🎵
HALF TIME: England 1-0 New Zealand
It wasn’t much of a spectacle, but that’s not really the point. England will be chuffed enough to get some minutes into their legs, under the searing sun. And Harry Kane has his goal. Everyone happy. Now for the next batch.
45 min +3: As that ball whistled into the net, Surman’s hands rose to his head in despair. New Zealand so close to a first-half shutout. But you can’t keep a goal machine down.
GOAL! England 1-0 New Zealand (Kane 45+2)
A bit of space for Spence out on the left. He curls an inviting cross into the mixer. Kane times his run into the box perfectly, flicking across Crocombe and into the bottom right. That’s his 79th goal for England, and a lovely deft finish.
45 min +1: A bit of time for Just out on the left. The Motherwell winger carves a curling cross towards Wood, battling for space with Guehi at the far stick. The defender wins the battle, but for a split second there, Wood’s eyes were lighting up.
45 min: There will be three additional minutes of this half.
44 min: Rashford drops deep to quarterback, but his fling forward in the hope of finding wide receiver Watkins is more Baker Mayfield than Tom Brady, and easily intercepted by Crocombe.
43 min: The pace has dropped considerably, which is understandable in the Florida sun.
41 min: Rashford again, from a similar position. This shot is more of a vicious whip, and flies well wide of the right-hand upright. Rashford effs and jeffs in frustration. Not long now if he wants a goal today, because it’ll be all-change after the break.
40 min: Rashford tries to make up for that poor delivery by taking a shy at goal from 25 yards. He cuts in from the left and hits a cross-cum-curling-shot that only just misses the right-hand post. Any little touch on that going through might have put the Kiwis in bother.
39 min: Spence makes a nuisance of himself down the left touchline, winning first a throw, then a corner with a back-flick. Rashford’s delivery of the set piece is no good, though, and easily cleared by Bell at the near post.
37 min: Rogers whips a cross in from a tight angle on the right. Crocombe claims at his near post, but only after juggling the ball a little bit, which won’t have helped his team-mates’ nerves given how close to the goalline he was. But all’s well.
35 min: … but nothing comes of the corner. “Drinks breaks are all well and good,” writes Matt Dony, “but does anyone know what’s on the menu for the lunch break? And will they be stopping for tea later on?”
34 min: Rashford drops a shoulder to see off Payne on the left. He reaches the byline and stands one up for Kane at the far stick. Kane powers a header goalwards from a tight angle. Crocombe does very well to react, tipping the ball over the bar, a fine reaction save. As close as England have come.
32 min: Watkins powers down the right, chasing after Pickford’s long ball, seeing off Cacace before fizzing a low cross into the middle, nearly finding Rashford on the edge of the six-yard box. Crocombe smothers just in time.
30 min: Mainoo opens his body and has a shot from the left-hand edge of the D. Wide and high, but not by much. Fine effort.
29 min: “Why not get carried away?” replies Simon McMahon to Charles Antaki (24 min). “It’s 2-0 Scotland. IT’S COMING HOME, BABY!!!” Peep, peep! Anyone want a lift in my Chrysler Hubris?
