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Who among us hasn’t yearned, at least momentarily, to cast off the trappings of our comfortable lives and live wild, unfettered and free? This year someone showed us the way: a charismatic Aussie sausage dog (I believe that’s “snag” in local vernacular). Whether you already carry Valerie the miniature dachshund’s story in your heart or managed, somehow, to miss the pint-sized phenomenon’s incredible journey, join me as we revisit this heart-warming tale.
In November 2023, Valerie was a one-year-old “absolute princess” of a pup – those are the words of her emotional support human, Georgia Gardner, who received the sausage as a graduation gift. A diminutive 15cm high, she needed a ramp to help her get into bed in her New South Wales home and wore a pink sweater in chilly weather, with matching pink collar and lead. But Valerie chose to swap her pampered life of roast chicken and pupuccinos for freedom in the dangerous wilds of Kangaroo Island, South Australia, escaping while Gardner and boyfriend Josh Fishlock were on holiday there.
Valerie’s audacious jailbreak happened when the couple took a brief trip to the beach, leaving their beloved chipolata behind in a cosy, seemingly secure and well-equipped playpen. Not so – before they had even set up their fishing rods, a fellow camper came rushing to tell them she had escaped and had hidden under a truck, rebuffing locals’ coaxing approaches, before hot-tailing it to the hills.
After five days searching for Valerie with the aid of local volunteers, the pair were forced to return home without her, which should have been the tragic end of the story. Valerie was an unlikely candidate to give Bear Grylls a run for his money. In addition to her teeny stature, “She was not a very outside, rough-and-tough dog,” Gardner said. “To think that she even went one night outside in the rain – oh my gosh.” Kangaroo Island is a vast, unforgiving expanse of bush, stalked by snakes and eagles and notably lacking in fancy dachshund food or bed ramps. The odds of her surviving seemed slim to nonexistent and everyone feared the (sorry) wurst.
But, as my friend who was basically raised by sausage dogs explains: “Dachshunds have no fear and are quite, quite mad.” Somehow – and the how remains a matter of hot debate – Valerie survived. In February, 15 months after her disappearance, and following a number of reported sightings by locals (one of whom captured this distant black dot believed to be our girl), the couple received solid intel that the intrepid beast had been sighted alive and well, around 10 miles from where she first broke free.
Contacted by Gardner to verify the news, Kangala Wildlife Rescue, a local organisation headed by husband-and-wife team Jarrad and Lisa Karran, set up camera traps baited with roast chicken and sardines to tempt her, and waited. Their hard work was eventually rewarded with footage of the fugitive that swiftly went global.
In one video, Valerie frolics into shot on her stumpy little legs, laser-focused on the care package left for her. She pounces on it with a savagery belying her size. The footage was brief but it was apparent she was not just surviving but thriving – the diminutive princess was glossy and flourishing, her pink collar still intact. Kangaroo Island is six times bigger than Singapore; Valerie is the size of a baguette. As local councillor Sam Mumford put it, “I can’t believe the damn thing’s still alive.”
How on earth had she coped for so long in the unforgiving wilderness? Quizzed by the many media outlets avidly following every twist and turn of her tiny tail, locals gave their theories. Kangaroo Island mayor Michael Pengilly and many others believed someone must be feeding her. Wildlife guide Craig Wickham thought she was surviving on roadkill, commenting, “I doubt the sausage dog has become an apex predator.” Professor Paul McGreevy, of the University of Sydney’s veterinary school, also weighed in: “Hypothetically, she could eat birds, frogs and mice … unfortunately, the reality is that dogs are opportunists and they will eat faecal material.” Whatever she was doing, it seemed to suit her.
Despite being on the lam and living on her wits for over a year, Valerie seemed entirely happy. She showed no desire to be rescued and fled at the sight of people or vehicles; Kangala described her as “impossible to catch”. Professor McGreevy (my favourite of the stellar cast of supporting characters in this story) provided a pithy theory as to why she was resisting arrest: back pain. “If I was the shape of a dachshund, with a predisposition to a bad back … they get scooped up a lot and often have awful back pain. No wonder it’s telling everyone to fuck off.”
Local resident Louise Custance suggested that Valerie “decided she didn’t want to go back to the city. She liked the island lifestyle, and she’s probably had some support from farm animals or wildlife to stay alive.” While Kangala co-director Lisa Karran said that probably, “possums or cats out there were grooming her”. Wild animals feeding a pampered urban princess and teaching her bushcraft survival skills?! I’m casting this Pixar movie in my head already: Nicole Kidman in the role of her life as Valerie, Guy Pearce as a wily bandicoot, Rebel Wilson as a possum, and Russell Crowe as an alpha male kangaroo with a couple of Hemsworth sidekicks; tell me I’m wrong.
Proof of life had been conclusively established, but catching Valerie proved complex for the team at Kangala. Wary and elusive, she would snatch a snack, then disappear for days. In addition, the baited camera traps proved a little too popular with other local wildlife. “The other night we had five possums, two wallabies and a feral cat all in the cage at the same time,” explained Jared Karran (See? Pixar movie).
After what the Karrans described as a “long, tough, battle”, they hit on a successful sausage-trapping strategy with cameras and a tricked-out dog crate: “Her own little room with her toys and bed from home, mum’s clothing, hidden food and challenges to keep her entertained” and, crucially, a remotely operated door. Valerie started to visit the crate and seemed to like it: “We have seen an amazing change in Valerie’s demeanour recently as she begins to remember all those familiar smells, tastes and sounds,” Kangala reported on its Facebook page. After a few visits, her fate was sealed. “It all worked perfectly,” said Jared Karran. After 529 days in the wilderness and an estimated 1,000 hours of volunteer time, her adventure was over. The moment was captured, on video: she gives the camera an unbothered glance, apparently accepting the fait accompli: “She just curled up and went to sleep,” Jared Karran said.
Kangala staff were concerned that Valerie’s battle to survive might have triggered “lost dog syndrome” – a stress response which could make her fearful and uninterested in humans; locals speculated she might have gone feral. But first contact at the trap went better than expected. “She was up at the front, barking and communicating with us,” Lisa Karran said. Back at the refuge she was swiftly fitted with an “anti-escape harness” (pink, of course).
A video showed the former fugitive playful, wriggly, glossy-coated, and in rude health. Like many stars, Kangala staff said she seemed smaller than she looked on screen: “She’s got, like, an inch clearance under her belly, tiny little legs,” Jared Karran marvelled. Despite her diminutive size, Valerie had somehow managed to gain 1.8kg during her “ordeal” – almost half her original bodyweight (4kg). How? The “someone was feeding her” theorists felt vindicated, but my sausage-dog authority was unsurprised. “To paraphrase Elizabeth I, they may have the legs of a decorative footstool, but they have the heart and stomach of a beast – and a beast of considerable size too.” Either way, Valerie was no longer a “little princess”, but a mighty queen.
After a period of acclimatisation, Valerie was finally reunited with an overjoyed Gardner and Fishlock. She was “making her little happy sounds, and wiggling around with joy”, Gardner said, and could barely fit into her old harness. The couple were thrilled to bring her home, despite the fact that in her absence they had actually acquired another dachsie, Dorothy, “to keep the memories alive”. Valerie’s response to this usurper has not been recorded, but her look in this picture has strong “And I’d do it again” energy, if you ask me.
What next? The happy ever after of our era: brand partnerships. Valerie is now an “official ambassador” for a dog product company, The Paws Room, offering meet and greets, like other contemporary celebrities. There’s a Valerie-themed beer that “celebrates resilience”, an “unauthorised” book in the works, and Australia has even enjoyed a biopic of sorts, dramatising her rescue: Dog Gone: The Hunt for Valerie. She’s living the VIP life, but I wonder if she ever dreams of the wild; running free under starry skies, dodging black tiger snakes and wedge-tailed eagles, being (possibly) fed by possums?
Long may she continue to thrive. For Valerie has given us that rare commodity in 2025: optimism. Like Valerie, we might all discover we are capable of extraordinary things.
